Going through a contentious divorce brings out the worst in many people. Emotions run high. Couples who have spent years learning what irritates their spouse attempt to use this knowledge to their advantage during a divorce. This is especially true if one of the spouses is a classic gaslighter.
A gaslighter is an individual who not only refuses to accept responsibility for any wrongdoing, but flips the scenario to portray themselves as the victim and the other person as the aggressor. In some instances, the gaslighter may even accuse the other person of gaslighting, again in an attempt to portray themselves as the victim.
Being a true victim of gaslighting routinely causes feelings of self-doubt and blame. The victim questions whether they did, in fact, misread the situation or ascribe malicious motivations where none existed. Creating these feelings is a victory for the gaslighter.
Attempting to reform a gaslighter is generally an exercise in futility. The best course of action is to minimize contact with the gaslighter.
If there are minor children, it’s not always possible to completely eliminate contact with a gaslighter. However, steps can be taken to minimize communication and limit the issues that need to be discussed.
It is no surprise that gaslighting is a common theme in many divorce cases. Once a victim recognizes that they are in fact a victim, then divorce is often the only option to get away from the gaslighter. It is important to have empathetic attorneys with experience handling these issues.
The attorneys at Collins Family Law have significant experience in handling all aspects of a divorce, including those involving gaslighters.